Befriending the Past

For so long, the past was my enemy. The enemy that I fought hard to leave behind, forget, and move far away from. Today was a day when the mirror of my life was painfully pointed at my past. I watched as the person I was struggled, and failed, stumbled and fell. Its amazing how even the very recollection of facts of situations past can thrust you back in to that world, feeling, seeing, hearing  the same way you did then. In this state, I struggled to keep a steady grip on myself stepping back from the mirror, reminding myself that it was indeed a mirror, and not live reality. Those steps back were just the medicine I needed to heal just a little bit more. I looked at myself today, and I could not help but to give gratitude to God, and to be proud of myself for getting to the other side of that mirror. Today I realized that I was no longer just a survivor and that I am not my story. The pain may never completely disappear, the scenes will probably make an appearance in my mind from time to time. I must say, I am truly relieved that they are just scenes from the past  and only in my mind. Today I had to befriend my past. In order to make and maintain peace with my past I had to develop a new relationship with it. This relationship can not be adversarial, it would keep me stuck and and forever the victim. Today I took the past and made a new friend. We re-introduced ourselves, we have so much in common. We both knew we were inextricably tied for life to each other, besides we have so many things in common.